Friday 27 June 2014

Fall on your knees...

Hey folks,

I had this big ol' angry diatribe all written and prepared, but then I thought: who cares! This was actually one of those occasions they tell you about, where if you feel angry about something, just write it out... whaddya know, it worked!

So no need to share any of that with you. I'm just going to get straight to the goods here. To those of you follow me on Tumblr, you might recognize this next number from a few weeks back. I've spent some time trying to make it all blog-worthy, and it ended up pretty the same as it began.

I hope you like it! I really thought I was posting some magical ditties lately, but they seem to have been fallen flat for some reason. Who knows? It's a good thing that I write primarily for myself. Yep, no point getting caught up in a big ol' ego trip or anything.

No ma'am, not me... just a humble li'l captioneer, here.

Enjoy!





Friday 20 June 2014

Here Comes the Bride

Before we get down to business, I would like to take a moment to explain the difference between a doll and a doll-like creature (or DLC). Perhaps this is remedial for some of you, but apparently it warrants some discussion among the less enlightened.

You see, a doll is made of plastic, whereas a DLC is just like you and me, with flesh, bones, organs and tissues. Dolls do not eat, breathe or go to the bathroom. They are objects. Are you with me so far?

If you want a permanent transformation, it should be into a doll, not a DLC. I mean, think about: who will take care of its organic needs? How do you place it on a pedestal or store it away for extended periods of time?

Listen, DLCs have their place, and I have been known to use them on more than one occasion. They are temporary or transitional states, to be used in a wider context of mind control. Sometimes, in a story, I do not want “how is this possible?” to rear its ugly head, so I employ conventional means, such as drugs and hypnosis, to render a person virtually inanimate or otherwise a puppet.

When I write a doll story, I take it for granted that such fantastical transformations can and do happen, but this does give me license to make up a universe where anything goes. In other words, I want to make it as realistic as possible… it just happens that a person was turned into plastic.

Okay, how are we doing? I'm almost at my point. So… plastic, yet realistic. Let me ask you this: in a body that does contain eardrums, how do you hear? How do you see out of glass eyes? Obviously, it’s all part of the magical convention that we simply accept (for example, trapped consciousness) but then how do you set limits on what can be heard and seen?

Our biology both enables and limits our senses. When we transcend our biology, why to feel compelled to bring our limitations with us?

There is no reason why a doll (unlike a DLC) should not see and hear things much better than you or me. The alternative, in my mind, is to not see or hear anything at all. Anything in-between is simply our organic bias talking.

Furthermore, I find entirely cruel that a man or woman might be transformed into a doll without such natuarl gifts. The sheer boredom of living in a sensory sphere while kept alone for 99% of your existence is really sheer torture, no matter how fabulously dressed you are.

Still confused? Go back a few weeks to read my Best… Doll… Caption… Ever… or read it again. In case you haven’t heard me say it before, I consider myself the thinking pervert’s writer. There are more than enough sites out there if you want a cheep thrill.

Now then, lecture’s over. Let’s get back to the fun stuff: a brand new caption! Oh yes, this is one is solid gold. What else can I say?  Once more, I am asking you to read between the lines because I packed some nice stuff in there. Come on, don’t be shy…

Enjoy!



Friday 13 June 2014

Happy Father's Day!

Hello, all you sons and daughters!

In celebration of that man so responsible for our dysfunction, I am reposting my "classic" Father's Day caption.

Sorry for not having any new stuff today. As some of you know, I am heavily working, with a bunch of stuff around 90% complete, but not quite at that elusive 100%.

You see, my standards are much higher than once they were, as evidenced by this beauty below. Now, I would not be reposting unless I thought it was quality, but you can see how my style has changed over the years (while in many ways remaining the same).

Incidentally, it has been sooooooo nice hearing from you, some of you old and some of you new. Always so nice. Please keep it coming... don't be shy! The worst that can happen is that I manipulate you into becoming a cock hungry slut.

(Am I allowed to say that on Blogger? And how would Google translate that? Have I just messed up my keywords? Oh, please do not spam me!)

Anyway, hopefully your next wait will be somewhat shorter. Further to the above, I do have one cap up to 98% and another hovering at 93%. There is one in particularly sitting in the high eighties, but poor silly Sarah refuses to proof read it for me!

Oh yeah, speaking of proof reading, I have a funny story... you see, there is this highly esteemed EMC author with whom I have something of a passing acquaintance, in the manner, apparently, of an ant having a passing acquaintance with a shoe. I kindly asked her (not Sarah) to proof read the above-mentioned story, and she kindly responded with her hourly rate.

Can you believe that? Who the hell is me, some fly-by-night captioner? I'm BRENDA dammit! Hey, maybe I should start charging too, a nickel a view...

... that should get me up to ten dollars by the end of the summer. Oh well.

Enjoy!