Wednesday 23 July 2014

I'll Tumbl 4 Ya

I feel like I’ve been spreading nothing but anger and confusion this past little while, so I figure it’s long past time to balance the scales. I present to thee: a brand new cap!

It’s funny, having done this for so long, to recently learn that some people call them “manips” – what an odd name! I always thought they referred to manipulated pictures, of the sort that Callidus might do, but apparently the term enjoys wider usage.

I do not “manipulate” pictures (people, on the other hand, are another matter entirely) preferring to keep them virginal and pure for my verbal massage. I will, however, use the term manip a few more times in order to increase my hit count.

Speaking of hit count, I recently got back in touch with my good friend kaokatt.deviantart.com after a very long and inexplicable hiatus, and she was kind enough to explain why nobody cares about my long-toothed ramblings and tired old manips.

Just kidding, of course: she is nothing but pink and fluffy. Really, she explained to me how Blogger is simply not the “cutting edge” any more, with people preferring to fill their panties on long streams of photos from the (relatively) anonymous Tumblr.

Oh, I have seen Tumblr, in all of it’s glory! I even have an account there, which nobody checks. In addition to countless gorgeous pics, there are also many prodigious “manipulators” whose writing talents might even rival my own (not to mention those of the unparalleled Samantha, another Blogger holdout).

And their output, zounds! How do they find the time to do anything else in life? Regardless, I am a stalwart, a stick in the mud. I am used to doing things my way, and that shall not change. Also, I simply cannot keep up with the frenetic pace of Tumblr.

Besides, I provide a specialized product for the discerning reader, one who wishes to sit and absorb, and not let all their absorption be done by a wad of tissue. Not that I have anything against tissue, oh no... and get your wad ready, because here it comes…

Enjoy!


Saturday 19 July 2014

Who (or what) is Candy Dumplings?

Hello, folks!

Yeah, it's Brenda... still.

I know, I know. Some of you are probably wondering "what's going on?" or "has crazy Brenda finally lost her knockers?"

The thing is, I don't know who I am any more! But I do know one thing... can you say it with me, folks?

"Big Tits!"

That's right, you sweet dumplings. Your dear Brenda is still here, but happens to be in something of a pickle, an identity crisis, if you will.

...

What's the point, really? I mean with all of this? All this frustration and shame? It's overwhelming. I want to be happy and carefree like Candy... but I can't... I just can't.

So many bad things have been happening to me lately, and I know... I know what you're going to say. Please don't. 

This not a cry for help: it's a cry into the void. I want my lover to reach out to me, whoever you are, wherever you are... but nothing.

"Please be attracted to my magnificent otherness," I plead, but there is no otherness; only nothingness.

There is no otherness for the likes of you and me. We are asexual. We do not reproduce, and least not with these compulsions, not without a lie... male OR female (that's right you little lipstick lesbians!)

This next caption is... special. For some of you, it will be a retread, and a pleasant one, I hope. It is one of my best captions, and I do so wish I could write like this again.

I miss you, PL.

Enjoy!


Thursday 10 July 2014

Please help!

I have never done this before, but I am posting a caption to which I have absolutely zero ownership. I think it is phenomenally hot, but I have no idea who the writer is!

If it is you, or someone you know, then please please please let me know!

Hey, feel free to share with me, and all of us, any other discoveries that might be of interest.