Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Great Goddess(es)

t has risen to my consciousness that some of you may have been offended by my very public castration of Lust (see: last post... or don't see it. I don't care) and so I apologize, for the fault is clearly mine: I failed to specify that this is a multi-part series.

... and as the severed member sailed across the heavens; from it's dripping blood sprang the giants of the earth, and then, whence rested in the ocean, from foam fared Aphrodite...

That's right, LUST becomes LOVE you silly mongooses and geeses! As for the Three Sisters, what ever became of them? Hmm, now that's an interesting question, thank you for asking: they became a very just and righteous archetype of their own happenstance.

Now listen: I shall not deny that, well... I become aggressive sometimes... a bit too pushy and demanding, maybe just overly forceful... at times. But listen, I never actually tried to offend anyone.... albeit, that becomes less and less of an excuse each time that I used it.

I must realise to learn to understand the patterns of my behaviour. I like patterns, because they make sense. They are beautiful, meticulous, and they have no apparent cause. It's like they always existed and always shall, in ways that we can never truly understand.

Hurting you (yes, YOU!) was the last thing I ever wanted to do, so please accept, as my abject apology: my guilt, my humiliation, my shame. Maybe I should write less about things that I barely understand, but on the other hand, there is something about that foam...

That frothy foamy goodness.

Yum.


Tuesday, 21 June 2016

The Three Sisters


As you know, I never made a dime off my caps, but if I did, I'd have to give it all back... and you know, I've often lamented the loss of my old blog (#1 TG Caption blog of 2008-09 according to Google) I realize now that it's probably for the best.

You see, I've made a non-living exploring the pleasure potential of the Three Sisters: Guilt, Shame and Humiliation. I ever went so far to claim they were the root of our shared inclinations. I was wrong.

The Mother in question is simply just that, like the Cosmological Constant, always lurking in the background. It manages to save but a few the deformed children made by Lust every night.

I will talk more about this unhappy family in the weeks (and months?) to come. See, I need a break from my book, and a more-than-unhealthy outlet for my raging emotions, which are only going to get the more volatile.

... and so one day, the emotions all stood together and bound the incestuous Lust with unbreakable wire; then with meticulous grinding of the strongest blade known, the vile offender was castrated.

Anyway, some of yous have been asking about Matthew: nope, still no word. Some of yous others might remember him as my right hand man and moral compass from days hence. He was always there when I needed him. I was not there for him.

I know he's still out there, and I know he's reading this... when the time is right, he will contact me. I will be ready this time.

Yes, we are all our neighbour's keeper, and this neighbourhood is not as big as it seems. We've all made mistakes, some of them big. Are we bad? I really don't think so, no not really (except for YOU!! Naw just kidding, you're awesome!) but still we make bad choices now and again.

We all need to be here for each other, to support one another. It's the only way this works... but then who am I to talk? For many long years, I indulged the Three Sisters, but strangely enough, they still led me in the right direction.



Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Finding Matthew

Okay, so... yeah. This is a bit awkward.

I know, I know, I am the MOST irresponsible blogger in the word: sounding crazy one minute and absolutely BATSHIT the next. I've been whiling away the hours on disposable social media while my foundation has been laid to waste by the most insipid forms of rot.

I'm back?

Yeah, we've heard that one before: new beginning, blah blah blah... well listen, fuck it. This time it's important. I am looking for Matthew and I know that he's reading this, so please please please get back in touch with me. You know how to reach me.

As for the rest of you? Well, let me put the rumours to rest: yes, I have started to transition, and no, it has not been easy. I am losing my marriage, my house, and quite possibly my job. Fortunately, I haven't any kids, which is pretty much the only thing that keeps the scales from tipping back.

There is no right or wrong, should or shouldn't. We all have different lives and different circumstances, and good for one is bad for another. Heck, the notion of transitioning can mean so many things, and I still do not know what it holds in store for me.

So anyway, here I am, two years later, after having had so much FUN in the company of others. Here, trying to keep the friends who are actually worth a shit and find the others who slipped between the cracks. And then there is all of you, my most faithful, faceless readers...

Are you with me? Can we do this together?

I need my Matthew first.

The Birth of Pegasus and Chrysaor 1876-1885 Edward Burne-Jones.

Thursday, 7 April 2016

Golden Swords and Flying Horses

You know, this blog was a lot more fun when it was illicit. So much has changes since those first fateful days I ever put pixel to, uh... pixel (???) but anyway folks, the point is: so much crazy shit has happened, I just don't give a fuck, you know?

Now, now, little puppets! You know I still love each and every single one of you... yes, even you... but, well... the world has exploded. I mean, seriously folks: when I was young, we just didn't TALK about anything, much less THIS.

It was fun poking holes in those inflated boobs of ours, feeling our minds deflate along with our egos... but all good things must come to end. I am talking about that time when we finally decide to swap places with our fantasies.

Now don't wet panties thinking of some scenario where I somehow tear you from your chair, or wherever you are standing, reaching through the screen and literally drag you into a digital world of my own devising... or maybe I do.

So like, my life is changing in so many fabulous ways. Won't you come with me? Or would you rather go about your day only dreaming about what is possible. Why even stretch those limits and jump right into a whole reality?

Enjoy?

Chrysaor?

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Out with the old...

So yeah, I've done very little on this blog over the past several months: a few new starts and restarts, a wrong turn here or there... mainly, I've turned my excess energies towards my Tumblr which you may want to check out if you haven't done so already.

But I have not abandoned you, not by a long a shot. I've been working hard behind the scenes, and although it's taken me a lot longer than expected, my book is finally starting to eke its way into actual drafts. Should you be excited? Most definitely!

I hope that the development of my book will correlate with the growth of my mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, social, professional... well, just about every aspect of my life, really, It's been a helluva a past several months, but I can almost feel the big wheel turning.

It the spirit of moving on, I thought to re-post some "Classic Brenda" captions. So after digging through the archives, and after my queasiness subsided (it's amazing how much captions have evolved over the years) I managed to find a small handful that didn't make my stomach churn.

Plus, I wanted to something special for a friend on his birthday (hi there!). This will have to do for now, but I hope, sometime really really soon, to provide you all with a beefier update and perhaps a sneak peek into my growing pile of pages.

Enjoy... if you can!






Saturday, 7 March 2015

A Doll's Realm: Revisited


"Ha, ha, ha! No really, please stop... you're flattering me!" Monica was indeed flattered, and more than a little bit pleased that her friends were noticing how shapely her legs had become, and in so little time!

Had it really been three weeks since she lost her purse at the mall? It was like they appeared out of nowhere, so friendly and kind. They looked everywhere together, but spent more of their time laughing and shopping than actually searching. The girls were so helpful, they insisted on paying for everything, including hours and hours at the beauty salon. By the end of the day, she could hardly recognize herself – she was gorgeous!

"Really though, it's all those fabulous shoes that you bought me," Monica laughed, "I never used to wear heels, but now I can't seem to stop!"  It was true. She tried going lower, just as a lark, but quickly discovered that her feet would no longer bend, not even an inch. "Well, no more flats for me," she giggled merrily to herself, as she cleared some more room on her plate.

The truth was, her life was a mess before she met the two girls. They taught her so many things, like how to always look pretty and listen with a smile. She admired their glamour and sophistication, and wanted to be like them in every way imaginable.

"Please... have... some... more... cake..." offered her very good friend Sandra, sitting pert and attentive as always.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly... well, maybe just one little piece!" Mmmm, it tasted so good! Monica greedily topped the sugary piece with loads of whipped cream. It seemed like she never stopped eating when she was out with the girls, but the pounds just kept falling off.  She shoveled forkload after forkloard into her mouth. "Mmph, aren't you going to have any?"

"We're... not... hungry..." said Barbara, in her adorable motionless way.

"Well then, more for me!" Monica laughed between mouthfuls, and eagerly grabbed another two pieces. Strange, she never really noticed this before, but Sandra and Barbara never ate a single bite, and yet their kitchen was always stocked with every treat imaginable.

"Is... something... wrong?" asked Sandra, tilting her head ever so slightly.

"No, I was just, uh... just admiring your beautiful kitchen!" What was wrong with her? Barbara and Sandra were nothing but gracious and kind. She would do anything for them, anything at all. Monica forced her lips into a perfect smile.

"You... are... coming... along... very... nicely..." observed Barbara, her own perfect smile not wavering in the slightest.

"Why thank you, I... I…" Monica giggled, feeling dizzy. The room, it was made completely of plastic. How come she never noticed this before? The table and chairs, the oven and fridge... everything! It was as though a veil had been lifted.

"You... are... finally... ready..." informed Sandra. At least, she thought it was Sandra, because she suddenly realized that neither of their mouths were capable of movement.

Th-this was impossible. She wanted to close her eyes, to shut everything out, but she couldn't... her eyelids would not blink! What was wrong with her? It was then that she noticed the cake, half-eaten on her plate: it was nothing more than Styrofoam and pieces of sponge!

"Now... you... see... the... truth..." said the two dolls in unison, their hard plastic features now fully apparent.

Monica wanted to gag, but all that came out was a stifled giggle, her big happy smile refusing to budge. She struggled to think, and it occurred to her that she had no idea where she was or how she got here. The past three weeks were really just a blur.

"Remove... all... your... clothes..." instructed Barbara, motioning her to rise.

"No, I don't want to..." she stammered, rising to her feet. It was the oddest sensation. Her legs remained straight and elbows bent, no matter how she tried to move them. Somehow, she managed to strip herself naked. “Why are you d-doing this to me?”

"Tell... us... what... you... want..." implored Barbara, her cold blue eyes playfully gleaming.

"I want to be..." she tried to force the words from rising in her throat, to no avail, "I want to be... a doll... like you.”

Barbara shivered with delight. That was exactly what she needed to hear.

Monica watched with revulsion as Barbara started writhe, her features changing, like she was becoming an entirely different person, yet eerily familiar. She stripped out of her own clothes and grabbed Monica’s from the floor.

"What are... you... looking at…" growled the creature, "go fetch... my purse!"

"Anything... you... say..." replied the doll, spinning on her heels. It was like she was moving on autopilot, because she knew exactly where to go looking for her long lost purse. She found it in a closet, along with some of the strangest clothes she had ever encountered.

"Why, thank you very much," said the triumphant woman, accepting her prize. She could barely contain her glee as she rummaged through its contents, scanning each item and absorbing new memories. "I am now Monica," she said with an air of authority, "and your name is Barbie."

"My... name... is... Barbie... " repeated the doll, knowing it was true. Her glassy wide eyes sparkled with delight. For just a brief moment, her body seemed unfamiliar, but then she felt perfectly natural with her silky blonde hair and outrageous proportions.

Monica smiled: not much longer my love, she gazed towards Sandra, until you are with me again. The world would not see what is coming. She unlocked her new phone and dialled a number from memory. “David, it’s Monica… can you come pick me up? I want you to meet my new friends.”

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Pink Christmas

In the time-honoured tradition of making everything about Christmas, I present to you my yuletide caption, which has absolutely nothing to do with the season.

I have also decided to spare you one of the many rants that have been brewing inside my head, opting instead for wishes of peace, sisterhood and goodwill among ladies.

It has been a tumultuous year in many respects, but I do not regret a moment of it: the ups and downs, the brilliance and errors, the love and hate… well, maybe just the hate.

I promise to return in the new year. I know my production has somewhat waned, but I am making some progress into that book I’m trying to write… slowly but surely.

It will take a long, long time (so please don’t hold your breath) but just so you know, your dearest sweet Brenda IS working productively. I will try to whip off a caption or two, now and then.

So all the best to you and yours, and… enjoy!



Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Pink Surprise

At long last, it’s a brand new cap… and thank goodness! That ol’ Halloween series was really making me cringe, and in all the wrong ways. I mean, the story was good, but it didn’t seem have that special polish.

Truth be told, writing has been difficult for me lately. For one, much of energy has been devoted to other aspects of my perversion, namely by talking directly to you, the reader, in different facets of social media. Perhaps more significantly, my mind has been drifting to grander endeavours.

I’ve talked a lot over the years (for those who were paying attention) about writing an actual book. Indeed, the stories in my mind have been growing larger and more complex, and I have found myself sketching out plotlines and characters during times when I’d otherwise be captioning.

Now, don’t get too excited (keep those panties dry… for now!) since any such book would be a looooooong way in the future, but the seeds have been planted. In the meantime, I will try to stay current on this blog and post more of this delightful little gems that you oh so enjoy.

Speaking of which, this next little one is… interesting. Actually, this one underwent significant revisions, and it seemed to force itself into existence. I tried my best to keep it dainty and eloquent, but perhaps you can tell me whether I was successful.

That’s right, folks, there is actually a comment box where you can post your sentiments, and undying love for yours truly. You know you want to. Seriously, it will feel sooooooo good! Even more, it is a surefire way to gain my thoughtful attention… so I mean, like, use your head bimbos!

(or is it “bimboes”??)

Enjoy!



Friday, 26 September 2014

An Unfortunate Night

Ah, the dreaded Friday afternoon posting: the time of week where people care least about online perversity. No matter, I wanted to get this out there because… well, just because.

I liked An Unfortunate Encounter and I think it’s one of my better caps. Someone recently commented that they would like to see what happened next to poor Matthew, and such queries are usually impossible for me to resist. It just goes to show: your comments count.

It’s been a very long day, for so many reasons, so I am pretty much all out of words. Not much philosophizing today, folks. I’ll just let the caption do the talking, and I’ll see you in the comment section.

Enjoy!



Friday, 19 September 2014

Faked Out

These have been tumultuous times for your dear Brenda... I know, I know... when are things otherwise for your resident drama queen? But this time, it's different.

[singing: fooled around and fell in loooove…]

Fell in, fell out, and shook it all about... now, of course, you can never really fall out of love, but you can hurt the living shit out of each other like nobody else. I am not proud of my actions, but I am also not disdainful of those against me.

Anyway, that is not even my point. The fact that my girlfriend was really my boyfriend is only incidental, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of, right? The thing that upsets me the most is how this disrupts my entire philosophy.

I had come to the conclusion over recent months (years, even) that bimbo-ism is a gender neutral thing. Now it occurs to me that the women I met through my blogs, and elsewhere on the Internet, were all men: virtually every single one of them.

The most recent and prominent point in case is Summer, from Summer's Captions, a veeeeery popular Tumblr site. Part of its appeal was the (completely fabricated) backstory of its otherwise talented author. His writing would have stood on its own... why do people lie?

Easy answer: for attention. We all want dem chicks, but they simply aren't out there, not the ones who are into what we're into… in the way that we’re into it. So we create them, we fill the void with fraudulent personas… and oh, how sissies flock!

More difficult answer: the Internet allows us to live our desires. Yes, we crave the attention, but it is also about the personal expression of something deep and meaningful inside. What is gender, what is identity, in a cybernetic world? Please tell me.

I still haven't thought all of this fully through, not with the attention it deserves. Right now, I am still dealing with significant anger and resentment… partially at myself, for my own naiveté, and also at the flagrant disregard we seem to have for members of our own community.

In the prisoners dilemma, where the optimal outcome is based on trust, there will always be those who seek to gain by defection. Stop it. I need this world, and I refuse to see it ruined by liars and intellectual criminals. Accept your obscurity, your loneliness, and help us all build something better together.

I've said it before: all we have is ourselves. Nobody else cares for us, so let's start caring for ourselves, and treating each other with honesty and respect.

I can forgive all these people, and perhaps even love them (see top) but they have yet to account for the shattering of my worldview... or the breaking of my heart. Running and hiding is the cowardly approach. Stand up. Be a man. Better yet, be a woman: courageous, strong and accountable.

Am I perfect? Yes. Get over it!

Enjoy!


Friday, 5 September 2014

Blindfolds

[Original text has been deleted because it sucks... enjoy the caption!]



Friday, 29 August 2014

Nothing More, Nothing Less

“No, thank you… I’m fine,” Sarah rasped nervously. She really could have done with a cup of tea, but damned if she was going to accept a single drop from this woman, or anything else for that matter. “I must insist that we get straight to the issue at hand.”

The issue, of course, was her husband, David, whom she recently learned was spending an inordinate amount of time with this… prostitute. She was not fooling anyone with that garish costume, least of all Sarah. True, the apartment was posh, but it was just a veneer, like everything else in this sleazy affair.

“Are you sure,” the woman queried, pretending not to notice the obvious distain emanating from her guest, “but you will not mind if I have some myself?” She rang the bell in her leather clad hand, just once, and then set it back down on her lap.

Sarah cleared her throat. “Sorry… Jezebel, was it? I don’t mean to be rude, but I honestly don’t buy into any of this ‘lifestyle domination’ nonsense.” She was surprised at her own directness. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re simply the woman who’s been screwing my husband.”

Jezebel smiled, as though she was indulging an impudent child, “I can assure you that nobody is ‘screwing’ anyone, Mrs Taylor. I understand your confusion, given the circumstances, but while you are in my home, I would ask that you respect my title.”

Sarah was astounded. This harlot, this woman who stole her husband, just reminded Sarah to address her as Mistress. “Listen up, you whore…” she started, when, as if on cue, a servant entered the room. How cute, Sarah thought to herself, she even has a cross-dressed maid.

“Thank you, Davina,” said the Mistress, without breaking her smile. The maid stood calmly by her side, a ridiculous sight, the picture of mindless obedience. “Unfortunately, I have lost my taste for tea, but I think our guest might volunteer to return it to the kitchen for you.

“Ha!” Sarah could hardly contain her astonishment, “You have some lot of nerve if you think that I… I…” it was then Sarah realized that the maid, underneath his wig and layers of makeup, behind that cold vacant stare, was her husband. She could barely draw out his name: “D-David?”

“So now you see what this is really about,” Mistress Jezebel gloated, “and what David has been up to these past several months. Between our lengthy sessions and my… unique methods… I can assure you that he’s totally mine.”

The hapless wife gaped for what seemed like an eternity, searching in vain for a glimmer of recognition her husband’s face. “David, wake up!” she barked, “I’m taking you home!” But the maid would not budge. It was almost as though he was no longer human.

“Davina made his decision,” the Mistress explained, toying with the hem of his skirt, “not that he ever really had one… I am offering you a choice,” she smirked, brazenly stroking his smooth hairless thighs, “simply do as I say, and he shall go free.”

Sarah’s mind was spinning cartwheels: David must have been tricked, or brainwashed somehow, he never would have consented to this deplorable travesty… or would he? None of this made sense. The devious bastard, I ought to let him rot… but what if he was innocent?

The maid stepped forward and offered the cup to Sarah. She hesitated, hoping for a surreptitious wink or some other sign, but there was nothing. “There is no need to wash it, just give it a rinse,” the Mistress instructed, “Davina will show you the way to the kitchen.”

Sarah glared at her tormentor, but quickly thought twice about her response. This woman, she was holding all the cards, and Sarah had to learn the truth. She took the cup, visibly seething, her words dripping with venom, “will that be all… Mistress?”

“Oh, hardly, my dear,” Mistress Jezebel laughed, “I am afraid this is only the beginning. When you are done with the dishes, Davina will find you a uniform to wear. It is standard issue, I’m afraid, but it will have to do for now.”

“Y-you couldn’t possibly mean… “ the girl stammered, porcelain cup trembling in her hands. What else could she do? It was clear that this woman was not interested in negotiating. She could still run away and abandon her husband… but then what would happen to him?

“I am presenting you with an opportunity to redeem yourself,” the Mistress explained, “as rudeness towards me is simply not tolerated. We will talk more, when you are suitably attired, but in the meantime, you would do well to show your appreciation.”

“Yes, Mistress Jezebel,” the girl forced a smile, the best and brightest she could muster. I will play your game for now, she fumed, but the instant you let your guard down, I am leaving with my husband! Sarah held her breath and performed a delicate curtsey. Mistress Jezebel nodded with approval.

Sarah spun on her heels to complete her first task. She felt almost sorry for the poor deluded Mistress. Yes, she thought, rinsing the cup, I will just play along, nothing more, nothing less. She could barely keep herself from giggling at her ridiculous situation.

Her reverie was broken by Davina, standing in the doorway. This was her chance: “David,” she hissed, looking deep in his eyes... her thoughts trailed off. Those eyes, they were fathomless! Everything she wanted to say seemed less important somehow, less urgent.

His eyes conveyed a peaceful serenity that was remarkably rich and complex. How come she never noticed this before? It must be so nice to live in the moment, without a single care in the world. She offered her hand to lead him away, but found herself following instead.

The maid led Sarah into the next room and quickly stripped her naked. Well, it's not quite like our wedding night, she joked to herself, but then she felt guilty for mocking her husband. Sure, their marriage had problems, but she always stood by her vows, to love, honor and...

"Oh," she gasped, as the maid's dress came down over head. It caught her by surprise, and she snapped back to her senses. This was a mistake. What was she thinking? Sarah started to panic as David proceeded to tie an apron around her back. She had to leave this place right now!

David, what are you doing?” she yelled, except she didn’t really yell, or even say a word. She stood perfectly still while David layered makeup onto her face until it resembled a mask. As a finishing touch, he pinned a lacy white cap atop her head.

Sarah caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and her heart nearly stopped. This reflection… was her? “Sorry,” said David, snapping his fingers, and a dozen flashbulbs went off inside her head. By the time she refocused, her husband was gone, and so were all her possessions.

“This is… n-no…” her thoughts were returning, but they were quickly interrupted by the ringing of a bell. She blanched: Mistress Jezebel was waiting! The bell rang again, and she rushed down the hallway as fast as she could.

“Oh, there you are,” the Mistress droned sarcastically, “I thought there was something wrong with my bell… I simply can’t imagine what took you so long!” She paused, genuinely concerned, “are you feeling alright, Davina? You look a bit flush.”

“Da-Davina?” she stuttered, scanning the room for her husband, but finding no sign. She looked down at her body and touched her flat chest: What? How? Her hands darted down between her legs where she found a tiny cock wriggling in its cage.

Mistress Jezebel raised an eyebrow. “Now, if you’re done with your little burlesque show, we need to talk about what happened here today. I just saw your wife running out my front door,” the Mistress scowled, “obviously, I’m disappointed, but really not surprised.”

“My… wife...” the words came slowly, as though she was stalling for time. It suddenly occurred to her that nobody knew where she was. As far as the world was concerned, Sarah was fine and on her way home, not trapped in a body that wasn’t her own.

“Yes, she seems to have abandoned you, despite my strongest enchantments, and I cannot help but think that you had something to do with it,” her eyes gleamed mischievously, “so you will be punished twice: once for your own infraction and another for hers.”

“M-Mistress Jezebel…” she tried to explain, but stopped. It was strange how this almost made sense to her. This had to be a dream, she reasoned, I will just play along: nothing more, nothing less. She desperately wanted to cry, but her body seemed incapable.

“You shall become the very same thing that your wife dared to call me… a whore,” spat the Mistress, her upper lip curling with disgust, “and her memory will provide you no comfort, not anymore, because in your mind, she never existed.”

Davina stared ahead blankly, suddenly empty and utterly vacant. He could not remember a single moment from the past. All he had left was the lingering feeling that his body wasn’t his own: indeed, it belonged to his Mistress, to do with however she pleased.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Friends in Need

I write a lot about trickery. I like to believe that my writing is honest (whatever that means) but how could that be? Are they two sides of an ever spinning coin, blurring in my mind to be one and the same thing?

What about the third side?

I find myself believing more and more about opposing forces, whether two, three, twelve or some irrational number. Truly all is vibration, oscillation which gives reality its substance. A being at rest is true nothing.

I have spoken about resistance as being a necessary driver to fiction: again, it is measure to counter-measure and the sensation of existence. I find this pattern repeating itself, time and again, and it’s especially manifest in the realm of the mind, whether individual or collective (e.g. Internet).

Sound and fury, signifying… nothing? We make noise, and noise atop noise, and create vast complexities which overwhelm us in our attempt to feel real. When we hit the figurative wall and things come to a stop, the meaningless becomes apparent.

But we are never still, we never stop, because relative to something, we are always moving. Is it the coin that is spinning or is it us, spinning around it, faster and faster? And where are we exactly, in the realm of the mind, our quantum existence, where we can be everywhere at once and nowhere at all?

If you want to know the connection between the body and mind, corporeal and incorporeal, it is really and most truly you: your will, your drive, your focus, your creation. You bridge these dimensions, a being of them both, reflecting the laws from one upon the other in the most astounding ways.

Twisting, turning and trickery… are essential. The Truth alone is silent, peaceful and reflective. The first words themselves were most certainly lies of egregious proportions. Say, for example, let there be light: was this not really let there be darkness?

Could there be honesty in lies, truth in deception, wisdom in foolishness? How could there not be? The coin never actually lands: it’s all just a matter of perception. And there is no coin. Whoever told you there is one is a liar.

We all want to spin, faster and faster down the hypnotic spiral, deeper and deepest to where we lose all volition and control, becoming none, becoming all: everything blurred beyond recognition… does Truth itself have a counter-measure?

(Getting dizzy here)

Caption! Yes, here it is: something new, something different, the kind of which I have never done before. Here it goes into the vast universe, to be consumed by the vortex of your hungry little eyes… I can hear them nibbling right now… they sound like mice.

(I’ll just leave you be… enjoy!)



Wednesday, 20 August 2014

An Unfortunate Encounter

Folks!

It has come to my attention that some of you may be experiencing technical difficulties while trying to post comments. One the one hand, it pleases to me know that Blogger, rather than lethargy, is the reason for my dearth of feedback. On the other hand… damn!

(Is there a computer doctor in the house?)

Fortunately, I have received enough reassurance these days that my confidence is riding at reasonably high levels, so I’m actually not all that concerned one way or another… as sucky as it may be that I’m possibly missing out on some fascinating threads of discussion.

Anyway, you did not come here to hear me wax on and on about my administrative concerns. You came to get off, and I think I can help you… maybe.

This next caption is really, really hot… except that some of you may have seen it before. No matter, not only has it been polished (oh, will you even notice?) but to many of you, it might even be new.

While I still have some pots on the stove, I haven’t gotten much of a chance to work on them these days. Still, I have reason to believe that my creative juices might be heating to a simmer, and if all goes as expected, to a full rolling boil.

Which is more that I can say for this pedantic, pedestrian introduction – where is the deep philosophical musing? Where is the introspective questioning, the soul rending emotion? I’m simply too tired… a little bit worn and stretched… but in a good way.

Oh, how mysterious, Brenda! Pray tell, what have you been up to? None of your beeswax, says me! Besides, many of you already know, and those who do not, you may drop an e-mail if the comments still aren’t working. I love to hear from all my bright-eyed, bushy-tailed fans telling me how wonderful I am.

I am pretty wonderful, aren’t? Come on… you can say it! Shout it from the rooftops so that everyone can hear it: Brenda has the biggest tits imaginable!

(Didn’t that feel good?)

Enjoy!



Wednesday, 6 August 2014

I'll Tumbl 4 Ya 2

Ahhh... Blogger. This place feels like home to  me.

It is so nice to back, in my tiny little corner of the web, free from prying eyes with just you, my one and only reader, to share the delights of my perverted little offspring.

So what are we to talk about? Hmm... politics? Naw, too religious. Religion? Too political. I know! how about crossdressing!

Have you ever seen a sillier little word? So quaint, so patronizing, so square. It reminds me of this other word I used to know... homosexual. That is one word that might even be sillier.

I mean, the point is that you are sexually attracted to men... does it really matter if you happen to be a man yourself, however loosely defined? I much prefer the term androphyllic, or gynephyllic, however clinical they may sound, as attraction to the masculine and feminine respectively.

So, too, I would reclassify the sexual paraphilia... such as crossdressing, pfft! Folks, it pure bimboism, which, as far as I've learned, is NOT gender specific! Gender confuses the issue; it does not define it.

Do you think any of the doctors, psychiatrists, clinicians or scientists even care, despite the escalating preponderance of this condition? Well, perhaps that question is too harsh. Let me put it another way: do you think society gives a shit?

Oh, Mamas! Don't let your babies grow up to be crossdressers! Let them be homosexuals, transgendered and such!

I mean, don't get me wrong... I have the greatest esteem for homosexuals and transgendered (except when they also happen to be criminals, financial executives, etc.) but that just isn't me... and I am NOT a crossdresser!!!

Labels... why so fixated with labels, my therapist asks me. I think labels are like money: people who have them really don't think they are such a big deal.

Ooooohhhhh.... so NICE to be back, and with such delicious fare! Feast your eyes on the following:




Wednesday, 23 July 2014

I'll Tumbl 4 Ya

I feel like I’ve been spreading nothing but anger and confusion this past little while, so I figure it’s long past time to balance the scales. I present to thee: a brand new cap!

It’s funny, having done this for so long, to recently learn that some people call them “manips” – what an odd name! I always thought they referred to manipulated pictures, of the sort that Callidus might do, but apparently the term enjoys wider usage.

I do not “manipulate” pictures (people, on the other hand, are another matter entirely) preferring to keep them virginal and pure for my verbal massage. I will, however, use the term manip a few more times in order to increase my hit count.

Speaking of hit count, I recently got back in touch with my good friend kaokatt.deviantart.com after a very long and inexplicable hiatus, and she was kind enough to explain why nobody cares about my long-toothed ramblings and tired old manips.

Just kidding, of course: she is nothing but pink and fluffy. Really, she explained to me how Blogger is simply not the “cutting edge” any more, with people preferring to fill their panties on long streams of photos from the (relatively) anonymous Tumblr.

Oh, I have seen Tumblr, in all of it’s glory! I even have an account there, which nobody checks. In addition to countless gorgeous pics, there are also many prodigious “manipulators” whose writing talents might even rival my own (not to mention those of the unparalleled Samantha, another Blogger holdout).

And their output, zounds! How do they find the time to do anything else in life? Regardless, I am a stalwart, a stick in the mud. I am used to doing things my way, and that shall not change. Also, I simply cannot keep up with the frenetic pace of Tumblr.

Besides, I provide a specialized product for the discerning reader, one who wishes to sit and absorb, and not let all their absorption be done by a wad of tissue. Not that I have anything against tissue, oh no... and get your wad ready, because here it comes…

Enjoy!


Saturday, 19 July 2014

Who (or what) is Candy Dumplings?

Hello, folks!

Yeah, it's Brenda... still.

I know, I know. Some of you are probably wondering "what's going on?" or "has crazy Brenda finally lost her knockers?"

The thing is, I don't know who I am any more! But I do know one thing... can you say it with me, folks?

"Big Tits!"

That's right, you sweet dumplings. Your dear Brenda is still here, but happens to be in something of a pickle, an identity crisis, if you will.

...

What's the point, really? I mean with all of this? All this frustration and shame? It's overwhelming. I want to be happy and carefree like Candy... but I can't... I just can't.

So many bad things have been happening to me lately, and I know... I know what you're going to say. Please don't. 

This not a cry for help: it's a cry into the void. I want my lover to reach out to me, whoever you are, wherever you are... but nothing.

"Please be attracted to my magnificent otherness," I plead, but there is no otherness; only nothingness.

There is no otherness for the likes of you and me. We are asexual. We do not reproduce, and least not with these compulsions, not without a lie... male OR female (that's right you little lipstick lesbians!)

This next caption is... special. For some of you, it will be a retread, and a pleasant one, I hope. It is one of my best captions, and I do so wish I could write like this again.

I miss you, PL.

Enjoy!


Thursday, 10 July 2014

Please help!

I have never done this before, but I am posting a caption to which I have absolutely zero ownership. I think it is phenomenally hot, but I have no idea who the writer is!

If it is you, or someone you know, then please please please let me know!

Hey, feel free to share with me, and all of us, any other discoveries that might be of interest.


Friday, 27 June 2014

Fall on your knees...

Hey folks,

I had this big ol' angry diatribe all written and prepared, but then I thought: who cares! This was actually one of those occasions they tell you about, where if you feel angry about something, just write it out... whaddya know, it worked!

So no need to share any of that with you. I'm just going to get straight to the goods here. To those of you follow me on Tumblr, you might recognize this next number from a few weeks back. I've spent some time trying to make it all blog-worthy, and it ended up pretty the same as it began.

I hope you like it! I really thought I was posting some magical ditties lately, but they seem to have been fallen flat for some reason. Who knows? It's a good thing that I write primarily for myself. Yep, no point getting caught up in a big ol' ego trip or anything.

No ma'am, not me... just a humble li'l captioneer, here.

Enjoy!