Saturday, 19 July 2014

Who (or what) is Candy Dumplings?

Hello, folks!

Yeah, it's Brenda... still.

I know, I know. Some of you are probably wondering "what's going on?" or "has crazy Brenda finally lost her knockers?"

The thing is, I don't know who I am any more! But I do know one thing... can you say it with me, folks?

"Big Tits!"

That's right, you sweet dumplings. Your dear Brenda is still here, but happens to be in something of a pickle, an identity crisis, if you will.


What's the point, really? I mean with all of this? All this frustration and shame? It's overwhelming. I want to be happy and carefree like Candy... but I can't... I just can't.

So many bad things have been happening to me lately, and I know... I know what you're going to say. Please don't. 

This not a cry for help: it's a cry into the void. I want my lover to reach out to me, whoever you are, wherever you are... but nothing.

"Please be attracted to my magnificent otherness," I plead, but there is no otherness; only nothingness.

There is no otherness for the likes of you and me. We are asexual. We do not reproduce, and least not with these compulsions, not without a lie... male OR female (that's right you little lipstick lesbians!)

This next caption is... special. For some of you, it will be a retread, and a pleasant one, I hope. It is one of my best captions, and I do so wish I could write like this again.

I miss you, PL.



  1. Identity crisis aside, just as true love lasts forever, so does true talent. This effort is like a fine wine, improving with age and each re-reading.

    With time and effort comes healing and confidence and inspiration.

    I certainly know this: You have spun me...and it is done.

  2. Spin away, my cinnamon sweet...

    Hey, whaddya know? The void answered.

  3. Yes this is one of your best - scary and funny and sexy. The sweetly smiling babe with the hypnotic cleavage is the perfect match. You do and will write as good and better.

    You are very special and you will always be very special.

    xo PhiL

    p.s.: and I *love* your new portrait!