A New Beginning...

Coming Soon

A Doll's Realm: Revisited

"Ha, ha, ha! No really, please stop... you're flattering me!" Monica was indeed flattered, and more than a little bit pleased that her friends were noticing how shapely her legs had become, and in so little time!

Had it really been three weeks since she lost her purse at the mall? It was like they appeared out of nowhere, so friendly and kind. They looked everywhere together, but spent more of their time laughing and shopping than actually searching. The girls were so helpful, they insisted on paying for everything, including hours and hours at the beauty salon. By the end of the day, she could hardly recognize herself – she was gorgeous!

"Really though, it's all those fabulous shoes that you bought me," Monica laughed, "I never used to wear heels, but now I can't seem to stop!"  It was true. She tried going lower, just as a lark, but quickly discovered that her feet would no longer bend, not even an inch. "Well, no more flats for me," she giggled merrily to herself, as she cleared some more room on her plate.

The truth was, her life was a mess before she met the two girls. They taught her so many things, like how to always look pretty and listen with a smile. She admired their glamour and sophistication, and wanted to be like them in every way imaginable.

"Please... have... some... more... cake..." offered her very good friend Sandra, sitting pert and attentive as always.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly... well, maybe just one little piece!" Mmmm, it tasted so good! Monica greedily topped the sugary piece with loads of whipped cream. It seemed like she never stopped eating when she was out with the girls, but the pounds just kept falling off.  She shoveled forkload after forkloard into her mouth. "Mmph, aren't you going to have any?"

"We're... not... hungry..." said Barbara, in her adorable motionless way.

"Well then, more for me!" Monica laughed between mouthfuls, and eagerly grabbed another two pieces. Strange, she never really noticed this before, but Sandra and Barbara never ate a single bite, and yet their kitchen was always stocked with every treat imaginable.

"Is... something... wrong?" asked Sandra, tilting her head ever so slightly.

"No, I was just, uh... just admiring your beautiful kitchen!" What was wrong with her? Barbara and Sandra were nothing but gracious and kind. She would do anything for them, anything at all. Monica forced her lips into a perfect smile.

"You... are... coming... along... very... nicely..." observed Barbara, her own perfect smile not wavering in the slightest.

"Why thank you, I... I…" Monica giggled, feeling dizzy. The room, it was made completely of plastic. How come she never noticed this before? The table and chairs, the oven and fridge... everything! It was as though a veil had been lifted.

"You... are... finally... ready..." informed Sandra. At least, she thought it was Sandra, because she suddenly realized that neither of their mouths were capable of movement.

Th-this was impossible. She wanted to close her eyes, to shut everything out, but she couldn't... her eyelids would not blink! What was wrong with her? It was then that she noticed the cake, half-eaten on her plate: it was nothing more than Styrofoam and pieces of sponge!

"Now... you... see... the... truth..." said the two dolls in unison, their hard plastic features now fully apparent.

Monica wanted to gag, but all that came out was a stifled giggle, her big happy smile refusing to budge. She struggled to think, and it occurred to her that she had no idea where she was or how she got here. The past three weeks were really just a blur.

"Remove... all... your... clothes..." instructed Barbara, motioning her to rise.

"No, I don't want to..." she stammered, rising to her feet. It was the oddest sensation. Her legs remained straight and elbows bent, no matter how she tried to move them. Somehow, she managed to strip herself naked. “Why are you d-doing this to me?”

"Tell... us... what... you... want..." implored Barbara, her cold blue eyes playfully gleaming.

"I want to be..." she tried to force the words from rising in her throat, to no avail, "I want to be... a doll... like you.”

Barbara shivered with delight. That was exactly what she needed to hear.

Monica watched with revulsion as Barbara started writhe, her features changing, like she was becoming an entirely different person, yet eerily familiar. She stripped out of her own clothes and grabbed Monica’s from the floor.

"What are... you... looking at…" growled the creature, "go fetch... my purse!"

"Anything... you... say..." replied the doll, spinning on her heels. It was like she was moving on autopilot, because she knew exactly where to go looking for her long lost purse. She found it in a closet, along with some of the strangest clothes she had ever encountered.

"Why, thank you very much," said the triumphant woman, accepting her prize. She could barely contain her glee as she rummaged through its contents, scanning each item and absorbing new memories. "I am now Monica," she said with an air of authority, "and your name is Barbie."

"My... name... is... Barbie... " repeated the doll, knowing it was true. Her glassy wide eyes sparkled with delight. For just a brief moment, her body seemed unfamiliar, but then she felt perfectly natural with her silky blonde hair and outrageous proportions.

Monica smiled: not much longer my love, she gazed towards Sandra, until you are with me again. The world would not see what is coming. She unlocked her new phone and dialled a number from memory. “David, it’s Monica… can you come pick me up? I want you to meet my new friends.”

Pink Christmas

In the time-honoured tradition of making everything about Christmas, I present to you my yuletide caption, which has absolutely nothing to do with the season.

I have also decided to spare you one of the many rants that have been brewing inside my head, opting instead for wishes of peace, sisterhood and goodwill among ladies.

It has been a tumultuous year in many respects, but I do not regret a moment of it: the ups and downs, the brilliance and errors, the love and hate… well, maybe just the hate.

I promise to return in the new year. I know my production has somewhat waned, but I am making some progress into that book I’m trying to write… slowly but surely.

It will take a long, long time (so please don’t hold your breath) but just so you know, your dearest sweet Brenda IS working productively. I will try to whip off a caption or two, now and then.

So all the best to you and yours, and… enjoy!

Pink Surprise

At long last, it’s a brand new cap… and thank goodness! That ol’ Halloween series was really making me cringe, and in all the wrong ways. I mean, the story was good, but it didn’t seem have that special polish.

Truth be told, writing has been difficult for me lately. For one, much of energy has been devoted to other aspects of my perversion, namely by talking directly to you, the reader, in different facets of social media. Perhaps more significantly, my mind has been drifting to grander endeavours.

I’ve talked a lot over the years (for those who were paying attention) about writing an actual book. Indeed, the stories in my mind have been growing larger and more complex, and I have found myself sketching out plotlines and characters during times when I’d otherwise be captioning.

Now, don’t get too excited (keep those panties dry… for now!) since any such book would be a looooooong way in the future, but the seeds have been planted. In the meantime, I will try to stay current on this blog and post more of this delightful little gems that you oh so enjoy.

Speaking of which, this next little one is… interesting. Actually, this one underwent significant revisions, and it seemed to force itself into existence. I tried my best to keep it dainty and eloquent, but perhaps you can tell me whether I was successful.

That’s right, folks, there is actually a comment box where you can post your sentiments, and undying love for yours truly. You know you want to. Seriously, it will feel sooooooo good! Even more, it is a surefire way to gain my thoughtful attention… so I mean, like, use your head bimbos!

(or is it “bimboes”??)

Enjoy!

An Unfortunate Night

Ah, the dreaded Friday afternoon posting: the time of week where people care least about online perversity. No matter, I wanted to get this out there because… well, just because.

I liked An Unfortunate Encounter and I think it’s one of my better caps. Someone recently commented that they would like to see what happened next to poor Matthew, and such queries are usually impossible for me to resist. It just goes to show: your comments count.

It’s been a very long day, for so many reasons, so I am pretty much all out of words. Not much philosophizing today, folks. I’ll just let the caption do the talking, and I’ll see you in the comment section.

Enjoy!

Faked Out

These have been tumultuous times for your dear Brenda... I know, I know... when are things otherwise for your resident drama queen? But this time, it's different.

[singing: fooled around and fell in loooove…]

Fell in, fell out, and shook it all about... now, of course, you can never really fall out of love, but you can hurt the living shit out of each other like nobody else. I am not proud of my actions, but I am also not disdainful of those against me.

Anyway, that is not even my point. The fact that my girlfriend was really my boyfriend is only incidental, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of, right? The thing that upsets me the most is how this disrupts my entire philosophy.

I had come to the conclusion over recent months (years, even) that bimbo-ism is a gender neutral thing. Now it occurs to me that the women I met through my blogs, and elsewhere on the Internet, were all men: virtually every single one of them.

The most recent and prominent point in case is Summer, from Summer's Captions, a veeeeery popular Tumblr site. Part of its appeal was the (completely fabricated) backstory of its otherwise talented author. His writing would have stood on its own... why do people lie?

Easy answer: for attention. We all want dem chicks, but they simply aren't out there, not the ones who are into what we're into… in the way that we’re into it. So we create them, we fill the void with fraudulent personas… and oh, how sissies flock!

More difficult answer: the Internet allows us to live our desires. Yes, we crave the attention, but it is also about the personal expression of something deep and meaningful inside. What is gender, what is identity, in a cybernetic world? Please tell me.

I still haven't thought all of this fully through, not with the attention it deserves. Right now, I am still dealing with significant anger and resentment… partially at myself, for my own naiveté, and also at the flagrant disregard we seem to have for members of our own community.

In the prisoners dilemma, where the optimal outcome is based on trust, there will always be those who seek to gain by defection. Stop it. I need this world, and I refuse to see it ruined by liars and intellectual criminals. Accept your obscurity, your loneliness, and help us all build something better together.

I've said it before: all we have is ourselves. Nobody else cares for us, so let's start caring for ourselves, and treating each other with honesty and respect.

I can forgive all these people, and perhaps even love them (see top) but they have yet to account for the shattering of my worldview... or the breaking of my heart. Running and hiding is the cowardly approach. Stand up. Be a man. Better yet, be a woman: courageous, strong and accountable.

Am I perfect? Yes. Get over it!

Enjoy!

Blindfolds

[Original text has been deleted because it sucks... enjoy the caption!]